Can you answer this for me?
One more thought for the evening, which I think connects with my earlier post, but is more plainly stated. I’ve encountered times recently in which my words, which I’ve thought were sincere, kind, and honest, were interpreted as double-speak, malicious and duplicitious. No amount of further sincerity or politeness (these were written forums, not in person) could convince the other of my motivations.
I try to make it a rule for myself (and fail miserably, I know) to interpret other’s words charitably. If you tell me that you mean your words kindly, unless your actions or history radically conflict, I will try to assume you are truthful. When they do conflict, I will try to give you an opportunity to make yourself coherent. What I’m finding frustrating in the frameworks of some individuals, who tend to belong to exclusivist religious approaches, is the hermeneutic of suspicion which accompanies their interaction with me. If I’m preceded with any kind of label that marks me as “different”, my words are fraught with danger and offense, self-delusion and so on. It precludes any kind of engagement, and so I assume, maybe incorrectly, that it is an (unconscious) defensive tactic.
My question–has anyone else had this experience (on either side of any “divide”), what have you done, and do you think it says anything about our culture as a whole, or is it merely a symptom of human communication?